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It was one hell of a ride but you made it through your first year of university. You ended the year with a big, diverse group of friends who love you. You joined a club where you finally get to explore your secret passion for drama and acting on campus. It’s been your biggest dream for so long and you’re a few steps closer to achieving it, and you’re studying what you’ve always wanted to – psychology.
It’s the semester break, results are out and that’s when your whole world comes crashing down on you. You just found out you failed your first year of university. What do you do now?
This is the story of how I failed my first year of university and how I bounced back from it.
If you have parents like mine, they’d want to know your results as soon as they’re out. There’s no way to hide it from them as much as I wanted to. And after receiving failing grades, trust me, there’s nothing I wanted more in the world than to hide this humiliating fact from my parents. No matter how much I dodged their questions, they kept pressing me about how well or rather, how poorly I did in the previous semester. So like it or not, I had to come clean to them about my grades eventually
It wasn’t easy. I had so many doubts in my head: Would my parents be disappointed in me? Would they be angry? What do I do now? How will I tell my parents?
If you’re reading this article right now, you’re probably doing what I did a few years ago when I was preparing my speech to my parents. That’s right, I, too, took to Google to find out how I can break the news to my parents that I failed my exams. The best thing you can do right now is to be honest and not beat around the bush. Approach your parents when they’re in a good mood so you can ruin their mood with what you’re about to tell them in a few minutes. I’m just kidding, but no, really. Go up to them and tell them like it is: Mama, Papa, I’m sorry to tell you this but I didn’t do too well in my last exams. Actually, I failed them.
I can’t tell you your parents won’t be shocked by the news but they’ll want to know why it happened so they can understand it better. Explain it to them: Tell them what went wrong. Were you struggling with your course work? Did you not understand the lecturer’s lessons? Were the exams too difficult? How did your friends and fellow classmates do in their exams? Did you not submit your assignments on time, or at all? If you didn’t study hard enough, tell them. If you studied your best, but still failed, be honest with them.
As an only child who’s extremely close to my family, I know my parents will give me their unconditional love and support, no matter what and I am very blessed to have that kind of relationship with them. Yes, they were disappointed and a little angry with me. But mostly, it was because I didn’t feel like I could be honest with them about how I was struggling in university, and that as much as I’ve been wanting to study psychology and as much as I love what I’m studying, I’m finding it to be much more difficult than I thought it would be. I was starting to doubt if I made the right decision in choosing to major in psychology. Not to mention, I was also struggling to cope with both my academic and mental health struggles.
My parents only wanted to help me and see me do well in my studies. So, together, we figured out what to do next.
I knew I didn’t want to give up on my dream so easily. I had to persist in my studies and continue my journey to become a psychologist. My parents were supportive of it, but they told me if I give it my all in the next semester, and I still fail my exams then it was time for me to consider changing my major. Despite how badly the previous semester went, I wanted to start fresh in the upcoming semester. I planned out my assessments and made sure I spent enough time completing all of them. I worked my little butt off that semester. But when I got my results at the end of that semester, I was disheartened to find out I had failed at my second go.
It was hard not to think that because I was failing, that automatically meant that I was a failure. Because that wasn’t the case at all. It was time I faced the music and accepted that maybe psychology just wasn’t it for me and that’s okay, I can find another pathway that better fits my capabilities and my interests. And I’m happy to say that I did. It took me a bit longer than my friends but I have finally graduated university with a double major in gender studies and writing. For a while, I had a lot of regrets about not passing my first year of university and as a result of it, having to extend my studies. It really impacted my self- worth, all I could think of before this was: I’m a failure. I’m a disappointment to my parents. I’m a burden to them. I’ve wasted my time and my parents’ money.
Improving your mindset and achieving growth from within after failing in university, and for me, failing in my studies for the first time of life, are topics of discussion for another day. But what I can offer you in my final words, as cliche as it sounds is that it gets better. Acknowledge your mistakes, reflect on them and figure out how you can work on them. Your parents are your support system, talk to them about your struggles in university. Most importantly, remember that although it may feel like it, it’s not the end of the world when you find out you failed your exams in university. I thought my life was over but I’m still here, aren’t I? I’ve made it, and you will too!
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